It's Fated
by suddenmuse
Summary: AU:Edward, as in most AUs, never returns. Of course, your mind goes right to the inevitable. Somehow, they find eachother again. It's fated that way.
1. Survival

(**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.)

**CHAPTER 1: ****SURVI****VAL**

_carlisle. __day__ 1, early morning_

It wasn't the best morning, but it was no better than any other that we had had lately. I'd been spending a lot of my time at the hospital, only leaving to keep the humans thinking I was human. It wasn't a good time for the family. Edward was gone, and everyone seemed to be mourning the loss of their brother. Edward seemed to visit less and less often now.

It wasn't just his absence though, it was Bella's too. It was like losing two members of the family in one fiery blow. No one was untouched.

It was 7 o'clock, my shift had started, but I had arrived over an hour early, making rounds, keeping busy. My constant presence at the hospital was far from unwelcome, I was the best doctor in the entire city, as small as it was. But being a doctor for more than several human lifetimes could do that to a vampire.

"I've got a woman who was mauled by a bear, mostly minor injuries, but there's several puncture wounds to the neck and one of her ears is going to need to be reconstructed. Surgery's in OR 2 as soon as they get her prepped, do you want in?" Dr. McGrath, one of the best surgeons the hospital had (the best before I came along), came up from behind me at the nurses' station.

"Mauled by a bear? In this region?" As so-called vegetarians of the vampire species, eating only animals, you kind of got to know what was lurking in the forests and where they were. Bears. Here. Not so much. "That's kind of unusual."

"I know. Crazy, huh?" The female doctor smiled, looking at me with the all-too-familiar look of lust in her eyes. "Do you want in?"

"I've got another surgery in ten minutes, I'll come by when I'm done if your still operating." There was a fairly obvious look of disappointment on her face.

"What do you got?"

"Appendectomy."

"Fun." She replied, sarcastically.

I chuckled, "I'll come by afterwards."

_carlisle. __day__ 1, approx 3 ½ hours later. _

Exactly three hours, thirty eight minutes and twenty four seconds later we were closing the patient of a successful appendectomy up. It was a great rush, standing over the operating table, saving someone from their own malfunctioning organs.

From themselves in a sense.

The chirp of my pager was near non-existence when I grabbed it off my belt clip and looked at the message on the tiny screen. I went to the phone at a human pace, dialing the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, we have a patient that needs emergency surgery. Bowel obstruction. They're prepping him now."

"Okay. Do you know how they're doing in OR 2?"

"I don't know. I can check for you though."

"No. It's alright. I was just curious."

_carlisle. __day__ 1, after work._

I breathed a heavy sigh as I arrived back home. It was an old, large structure that Esme had restored. It was a darker building than we were used to living in, and everything about it seemed to portray the dismal existence we had entered into. The floors were done in a dark wood, and the walls were in shades of dark blue. Most of the furniture was black and deep shades of chocolate, and there lacked the piano and large windows we had in all of our former residences.

It was depressing, even for a vampire. Like living in eternal night.

As I opened the door, to my surprise, I heard a familiar voice: "Hey, dad."

_carlisle. __day__ 2, early morning._

"Pretty busy, last night?"

"Yes. Sorry I couldn't get around to seeing your patient. How was the surgery?"

"I felt so bad for the poor girl," McGrath began, "She had a cut coming down from her ear across her jaw, and claw marks that come from the side of her neck diagonal right to the bottom of her rib cage." She was using her hands to describe the injuries, "And another from the bottom of the cage all the way to her hip."

"Huh. I'll have to drop by and take a look." McGrath's eyes widened at the idea of it. She'd get a chance to show off to Dr. Cullen, spend some time with Dr. Cullen. Her thoughts were naked on her face. "What's her name?"

"Jane Doe, I guess they didn't find any ID on her."

"What's the room number then? I'll come by before my shift ends."

"She's still in the ICU, curtain eight."

_carlisle. __day__ 1, evening._

He looked worse than when I last saw him. He sounded sadder since I last talked to him.

Hearing my thoughts, he just shrugged. "I just came up to spend a day or two." I nodded. It was better than not seeing him at all. I gave him a short smile.

"How have you been doing?" I asked, as we began walking toward the sitting room.

"The same." Miserable, I thought. He shrugged and dropped into a chair.

_We are going feeding tonight, do you want to come? _I had already noted that he didn't appear hungry, but the family would want to spend as much time with him as they could before he disappeared again.

"Sure."

_carlisle. __day__ 2, after work._

A feeling of uneasiness and dread seemed to fill my entire being. I wasn't sure what to do. After hundreds of years worth of experience, not knowing what to do, it was a rarity. Usually, I didn't mind, but this time.. I'm terrified.

I don't know.

Just be careful what you think. Open the door and be normal. _Normal._


	2. Worries

(**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.)

**CHAPTER 2: WORRIES **

_carlisle. __day__ 2, between midnight and 3 am._

"Do you think he'll ever get over leaving her?" Esme had asked me this nearly a thousand times, and I didn't know quite what to say. Tell her that I hope so, or that I didn't think so (which is what I truly believe). Edward was in love with Bella, he would never, ever forget her or find anyone comparable to her.

Of course, she knew what I really thought already, though it hadn't been said straight out. She knew me that well. She only asked for the small comfort that words could bring.

"I don't know. I hope so." She sat on the black sofa, her elbow on the armrest and chin on her palm. Her white skin and light attire was striking in contrast to the dark leather. I heard her sigh quietly from across the room and was compelled towards her, longing to ease her worries with my touch. She sat up as I approached, and glided over so I could sit beside her and leaned against my body, head on my shoulder.

"Maybe he'll go back to her. One day." It was a hope I had nurtured myself, from time to time, but I couldn't afford to be so optimistic. If and until he made that decision, we had to face the reality and try to work to repair the broken shards of our family that had been scattered once we left Forks. And if he did go back, who was to say that Bella hadn't moved on? That she would be open to taking us back into her life.

I just nodded in response.

_carlisle. __day__ 2, after work._

I couldn't believe what I had seen. It was impossible. Wholly impossible.

"Dad?" Alice was standing on the deck. I hadn't noticed her at first.

"Hmm?" I tried to be normal, to be usual self, but I could see by her facial expression, she wasn't buying it.

"You have to get back to the hospital. Curtain eight is..." She trailed off.

She knew too.

_carlisle. __day__ 2, before leaving the hospital._

I was already in my regular wear when I went to see Jane Doe, as I had told Dr. McGrath I would. I would have rather just gone home, spent time with Edward while he was around then stick around the hospital, which was definitely a switch from the previous night.

I wasn't genuinely curious to see any other patients no matter how extraordinary their cases might be.

When I reached the entryway to the ICU, I could see McGrath standing their, smiling like an idiot. She wasn't an unattractive woman, for a human, when she kept her sense at least. "Hey, you came." She said in a voice that gave the impression our relationship was much closer than it actually was. I just nodded. "Follow me." She might have sensed the dark mood I was in, because she actually got to the point a little quicker than I expected.

Curtain eight was near the end of the room, and as we walked she reviewed Jane Doe's chart. I paid enough attention that I could recall the information later, but not enough that I actually processed the words. "We still have her under mild sedation." I nodded and she proceeded to open the curtain.

_esme. day 2, midday._

"How are you, dear?" I asked him quietly, entering the room that was left for him. It was empty aside from an old, rusted chair that sat in the corner facing a small window. Edward really hadn't spent enough time, nor had the effort or care in him to fill it.

"I don't know. I feel numb, and I feel pain. Which doesn't make sense when I say it.. But.."

"I know how you feel." I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, "It takes time, and then it never really goes away." I didn't want to tell him that one day all the hurt and the numbness would be gone, because it wouldn't. Not for me. Not for him. It's always there, like a burning hollow in your chest.

"Do you think she'll have a good life? That everything will turn out all right for her?" He didn't want to regret letting her go. He wanted her to be happy so he could know he did the right thing.

I tried to smother the thought before he could catch it, but I couldn't tell if he had heard me. "Yes. I do. She'll go to college or university, get a good job, get married, have children. You have nothing to worry about." I tried to smile reassuringly, but with him hearing the doubts in my head, it wouldn't mean much.

I worried that when he left her, he might have left her more hurt than he would have suspected. That she might never recover or move on. I saw how deeply in love she was with him, and I didn't think he ever caught on to the full extent of it.


	3. Regret

(**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.)

**CHAPTER 3: ****REGRET**

_rosalie. __day__ 2, afternoon._

"Hey."

"Hi." His voice was emotionless. Dead. I kind of felt bad for him, but honestly, it was just a human girl. _Just a human!_

Edward emitted a defensive growl, "If your just going to tell me to get over it, you can just leave. I don't want to hear it." I sighed, sitting down cross-legged on the floor against the wall.

"I just don't get it, Edward. There are billions of other people out there, it's been nearly a year, and your still mourning her like she's dead. _Really, _Edward. _You left her. _You wanted this, and now that you have it, your acting like the world is ending."

"But the world is ending. Without her.. Rose, I wanted it." He stopped for a moment, then corrected himself, "I want this, Rose, but I don't. I want to be with her, but I can't endanger her like I do while I'm around her. I need her to be safe, to live a normal, human life."

_Your__ being stupid. _

_carlisle. __day__ 3, early morning._

"It was just a blood clot." I sat down on the porch, beside Alice who was looking out at the stars.

"I know."

"She'll be fine?"

"No. There's a lot in her future." She answered.

"I guess I know that."

_jacob. __day__ 3._

I broke her. I tore her to pieces. I could have killed her.

Dead.

I told her that I was a monster, that she shouldn't be around me. A monster. But she had not even the slightest whisper of self-preservation, not even a decimal of a degree. And she got me to trust myself around her.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

And I couldn't even help her. I was caged, confined in my wolf-like form, and she was on the ground, her skin in shreds and her blood staining the snow. I couldn't do anything. And even worse..

I ran.

I left her. I am no better than the leech.

_I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..._

_carlisle. __day__ 2, before leaving work._

"Is there something wrong, Dr. Cullen?" I felt like a ton of bricks (comparatively) had just fallen on me. I knew Jane Doe. Curtain number eight. I knew her. "Dr. Cullen?"

"Hmm..? Oh.. yeah. Just.. Yeah." I walked up to the bed slowly. She was sleeping. Her pale body was more frail and white than I remembered it. Forgetting the long scars you could see on her body, the numerous tubes and wires she was hooked up to, she looked like hell. "Her surgery went well?" I asked, trying to keep a normal visage.

"She's going to need her ear reconstructed, but the scars won't be too bad." The doctor was staring at me, her expression still concerned. "Are you sure that there's nothing wrong?"

"I know this girl. Her name is Isabella Swan."


	4. Visiting

[**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.

**CHAPTER 4: VISITING**

_carlisle. __day__ 3, before midnight._

"Can I see her? I know... maybe Edward should see her first... But if he decided... Well..." She trailed off, then headed in a different direction, "When are you going to tell him?"

"Tomorrow, I think, during lunch. I'll get him to meet me at the hospital." I answered, "And you can see her, if you want. We can leave tonight before Edward and Emmett get back." Esme squeezed me tighter. Bella was like a daughter to her, and she had taken the absence particularly hard.

"Thank you." She whispered.

_edward. __day__ 4, after midnight_

Emmetts thoughts revolved around the wedding Rosalie was planning, it was a relief from the constant worries over my emotional state. He was sitting on the floor against the wall of the garage, hitting his head against the wall metrically in boredom. We were waiting for Jasper to come home, Emmett wanted to have a wrestling match.

We were just home from another hunting trip. I had had one every day since my arrival back home, but it seemed to be the only way to be _with_ them. Jasper had come too, but he was picking up Alice and Rosalie, who had spent part of yesterday in Seattle taking care of some wedding arrangements.

Alice had been avoiding me lately, mentally reciting ingredients for shampoos and cosmetics. And so had Carlisle.

A phone call interrupted my thoughts. It was Jasper, the plane was going to be late. Emmett, who had stopped thumping his head during the call, sighed and resumed doing so.

Memories involving a late plane filled Emmett's thoughts. He absently tried to predict how long it would take until Jasper got home and as the minutes passed, he thought of other matches and other competitions and bets and games. And then to a fateful baseball game.

I could feel my dead insides tighten.

He remembered the three visitors, the aftermath, seeing Bella in the hospital, Bella at the prom in her cast. He smiled internally. Bella's clumsiness in the easiest tasks. Tripping over anything and everything. Her humanness.

He misses her.

An image in his mind appears of her sleeping on our couch, head on my lap, whispering words in her sleep. The sun throws patches of light on her skin, glowing with warmth, her hair fanned out and body limp in sleep.

Every detail unforgotten with time. My heart aches, and I can't take it.

"Emmett..."

"Oh, sorry... It's hard, not thinking about her." He thought of the year with Bella as one of the best in his life.

"It's... it is so hard." I admitted after a long minute.

"Go back, Edward." He said it, straight out, what everyone had been thinking.

"I can't."

_carlisle. __day__ 4, just after 1 am._

"Bella..." She whispered, bringing a hand to the scarred face of her almost-child. "What happened to you? You're broken. What happened?" If Esme could cry, she would have. The sight of Bella was devastating. Bella was broken past the skin and the cartilage. It wasn't just body and bones, it was her soul and you didn't need to see her healthy and awake to know that. Even asleep, her unhappiness was worked into her expression and her body.

"When will she wake up?" She asked, suddenly, looking away from her.

"They want to wait another day. She hasn't been doing too well. Her injuries aren't as bad as they could be, but she isn't healing." A thought nagged at the back of my mind, one that I tried to keep at bay, that she didn't want to heal.

Esme looked back at Bella, "Bella... I am so sorry we left you... I am so, so sorry. You have to know that. That I am... we are so sorry, Bella. We could have stopped this... We could have done something..." I took a step forward, wrapping an arm around her. "Carlisle... we can't leave her. Not now, not again... You have to talk to Edward, tell him that we can't go again."

"It will be okay, Esme. Trust him."

_carlisle __day__ 4, noon. _

A knock on the door, "Come in."

"Dad? What did you want to see me about?" Time to tell. He was here, and now it was time to tell him.

"You hunted before you came down here?" He'd hunted every day since he'd been here. He was ready, and I was stalling.

"Yes..."

"Then follow me. I have something to show you."


	5. Feel

[**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.

**CHAPTER 5: FEEL**

_alice. __day__ 4, 3 am. _

It was hard to keep up with the human pretences, it was too early for the hallways to be too populated, but humans still roamed the halls. I was being impatient, I recognized that, but I needed to see her. I could see her in my mind, walking into that room, I could see her. But it's never the same.

As the various people passed, I willed them to go faster, to clear the way. I needed to move faster. Jasper squeezed my hand, I looked beside me and smiled, squeezing his. "Your nervous."

"I know. And excited." He smiled. "And you look guilty."

Jasper nodded, "I can't help but feel this is all my fault."

"It could've been anyone's fault, Jasper. We're all just as attracted to the scent of blood."

"Not all of us." He frowned.

"What about me? I didn't see it coming."

"You shouldn't have needed to. If I wasn't so—"

"Jasper, this isn't your fault. It's just how things worked out." I wanted it to sound final, but this was an argument that never would have any finality.

Finally, we came to her room. Carlisle had just made the arrangements for her to have a more private room, if she was going to have vampires visiting, it would be a necessity. As a group, we weren't very inconspicuous.

As we walked in, I felt Jasper stiffen. I squeezed his hand, closing the door behind us with inhuman speed, and going to her bed. Jasper sat down in the chair furthest across the room. "Bella..." What else was there to say? She was so... so broken. "Why did this happen to you? You've done nothing to deserve this... Bella..." I held her hand carefully, feeling the too-prominent bones and the weakened pulse. "Jasper, this is our doing. Not the scars, the broken bones. She's so... Damn it. You can see it and she's not even... God... I will never forgive him." I looked back at her, stoking her face, feeling the warmth of her skin under my fingers.

"She feels lost, and confused." He said after a minute of silence, "She's scared of something." I looked over at him, nodding. "She feels worthless. She feels like it's not worth it. She's done. She doesn't want to live."

_carlisle. __day__ 4, noon. _

I tried not to think about it, I was counting the tiles on the floor, attempting to keep him out of my head. It seemed to be working though, his expression made that clear. Apparently my control wasn't at it's best though, for at one point during our travel to her room did he say: "A surgical patient? Why would I need to see..."

"I just want you to see her" I said, he cocked a brow. We were almost to her room.

"Why?" Curiosity killed the cat, I thought, and Edward smiled. Small, but genuine.

"Because, I need you to." I said, stopping in front of the door. I took a deep breath then, and looked at him straight in the face. "When you go in, Edward, don't think about it too much. Just feel." It was then that I saw his calm mask quake a little. She wasn't ever far enough from his mind, that the vaguest words could bring him to think of her. I took another deep breath, and opened the door, hoping for the best.

_edward. __day__ 4, noon._

I wasn't sure what to expect, first when I came to the hospital. He had told me that he wanted to meet me at noon in the hospital early this morning, just to come by his office. Nothing more than that. His thoughts left everything to be desired. He was counting, numbers, objects, whatever he could find to count, and he was counting them. He was counting tiles as we went through the hospital. But he slipped. A couple times, not really big things but it was just enough to know that it was a surgical patient, suffering from wounds commonly associated with bear attack victims. I asked about the patient. Why did I need to see her. _Curiosity killed the cat, _he thought, and I had to smile at the plain absurdity of it.

And then, we reached the door.

* * *

A/N: Wow. This was fast, but then again, it is short. I tried to make it longer by tacking Edward onto the end, but his thing is a little short. Anyways, I hope I made you feel a little depressed and a little hopeful. It's not a very good thing to say, but I'm going to be honest here. Anyways, back to my original purpose of writing an other's note ... I love reviews. They make me feel all warm and happy inside because you cared enough to review but, and even though I'm happy, it would make me much, much happier to hear your actual thoughts and critisms about the story. Can we make it a goal, to say atleast one **specific event** or thing you liked about this chapter or share your views on where you think this story is going or whatever. And if you have anything negative to say, put it out there, just keep it constructive. Just take a minute or two more to tell me what you think about the story. I REALLY, REALLY want to hear some real views. 


	6. Hope

[**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.

**CHAPTER 6: HOPE**

_carlisle. day 4, 2:30 pm._

A knock resonated through the wood of my door. "Come in."

"Dr. Cullen?" The hospital receptionist opened the door timidly, looking in. She was a younger woman, likely just out of school, and new member of the hospital staff. "Can I have a word with you, about Miss Swan?" She looked thoroughly intimidated. By position or beauty, it was likely one or the other or both.

"What about her?" I asked, motioning for her to step out of the doorway.

"Um… I… Well… We seem to be having a hard time connecting to her parents. Her mother seems to be out of the country according to her machine, but we can't reach her father at all." She spoke softly, her voice shaking.

"Okay…" I said, taking a piece of note paper off the pad, "Try Mr. Swan at his work. Here." I wrote down the number from memory, and then my own and then handed her the slip of paper. "And leave Renee a message telling her to contact me as soon as she gets back from her trip. Give her this number." I said, indicating the number.

"Okay… I'll see what I can do…" And she left.

_alice. day 4, 2:00 pm. _

Waiting. He's been in there for 2 hours, but he'll be out in ten minutes, when the nurses change her dressings. He'll come out looking like hell, he won't say anything. He will sit down in the chair across from her door, still as a statue. He'll wait with us in silence and the moment the nurses are finished, he will enter her room again. He'll sit beside her again, cold hands stroking her hair, fingers running over her pale skin. He will be sad. He will feel loss. And he won't know what to do. He won't try to think about it. Right now, he wants just to be with her. To remember, because it doesn't hurt as much right now, with her here. And then she will speak, not consciously or intentionally, but she will say something in her slumber. A name. And it's a name he knows nothing about, and any other day, it would just be a name. But today it is so much more, because it sends all hope out the window. Because of the words that came after it. Three small words.

"_Jake, I love you."_

He had had hopes. He wanted to leave again, and continue to not exist, he had thought he would leave. But he knew he wouldn't. He was going to stay know, protect her. Love her. And he hoped she would love him back. He would do anything for her, to get her back. To make her happy. Anything for her happiness. That was his hope.

But her love no longer belonged to him. It was a Jake's. And in all likelihood, Jake probably hadn't ever committed a serious offence, wasn't a murderer, wasn't a monster, wasn't a vampire.

He probably had a soul. He probably made her happy. Happier than she could ever be with a vampire. He could give her things that a vampire never could, he could grow old with her, die with her. Be human with her.

So this would be his punishment.

And then Edward would leave the room. He would walk right past us and out the hospital doors.

The vision fades.

_carlisle. day 4, 7:00 pm._

"Dr. Cullen?" It was the same nurse that had entered my office six hours before. "Um, It's about Mr. Swan, Bella's father."

"Yes?"

"He died about five days ago. His funeral was today."

* * *

A/N: I know it's short, and I know Alice can't see inside his head when she's having a vision, but I needed to get the idea across. Her vision is set approximately an hour into the future. Oh, and quotes or information on the upcoming chapters to members who submit ACTUAL reviews. Short reviews like "I loved it." or "Amazing chapter." are nice to hear, but they're a waste of space. Really. They do me no good, they just take up space in my inbox. If you're going to review, then _review_. Tell me what you like, tell me what you didn't like, tell me what you think is going to happen, what you want to happen, what you think I need to improve upon and what you think I'm doing well with the piece. Of course, it doesn't have to be all those all at once, but pick three and donate a sentence to each at the _very_ least. "I loved it", isn't a review. It doesn't matter if what your saying is positive or negative. It just isn't a review 


	7. Pain

-1**(DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.)

**CHAPTER 7: PAIN**

_bella. day 4, 8:00pm._

An explosion. Fur. Fangs. Teeth. Movement.

Pain.

Dull pain, pulsating through my body. Firey and warm. My stomach, my chest, my face. Try to fall back to sleep…

The face of a friend. Of a love. An explosion. Fur. Fangs. Teeth. Movement. Coming at me. Fangs. Teeth.

Pain.

Searing, murderous pain. Knives inside me. Pain. Kill me now. Try to fall back to sleep.

It does not come.

Opening my eyes. Pastels, out-dated furniture. Machines beeping. The scent of hospital.

How did I get here? How long have I been here?

Jacob… Charlie…

But there is a killing pain. A hot pain.

I cry.

I can't breathe. It hurts to breathe. Too damn much.

Someone… Help…

Pain. Pain.. Too much God damn pain.

Crying.

Cold hands on my face. Marble hands feel my pulse. A beautiful voice calls my name. A familiar voice tells me to be calm.

And the pain fades. Everything fades.

"Carlisle? Esme?"

And it's all black again.

Jacob. The face of a friend. Of a love. An explosion. Fur. Fangs. Teeth. Movement. Coming at me. Fangs. Teeth.

Pain.

I love you.

_carlisle. day 4, 8:45 pm_

"Edward?" She begins.

"She woke up." Edward says he doesn't want to be there. Doesn't want to hurt her. Again.

"Please, come Edward. She needs to see you." No, he says. "She knows we're here, Edward. She was in a great deal of pain when she woke up. Carlisle had to see her." That's not why he won't see her, he says. She loves someone else. He can't be with her.

"Then don't be with her. Be her friend. Be here for her."

--------

A/N: This chapter is weird. The way it's written is really, really weird. But that's how my brain functions sometimes. And I think it works better when Bella is waking up. I know how waking up like that feels, and your thoughts don't form complete sentences. Sorry it's so short. I'm sacrificing length for frequent updates.

Oh. And same things that applied last chapter will apply this chapter. Actual reviews will get you hints or quotes or whatever I decide to give out.


	8. Wake Up

**(DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse or any of it's characters.)

**CHAPTER 8: Wake Up**

_bella. day 4, 8:00pm._

_carlisle. day 4, late evening._

"Bella?" The monitors and machines beeped quietly in the background as she watched the window, watched the snow fall against the rich navy sky. I walked around to the other side of the room, sitting in the chair beside her bed.

She had been stable since she woke up, but quiet. No one had talked to her yet, about what had happened since she was found, but she could guess. She'd seen the scars, the stitches and the staples.

"How are you doing?" She hugged her pillow tighter and nodded.

"You came into the hospital four days ago," I began, "Your injuries weren't very severe, though you fractured a rib and your wrist is sprained. Your right ear will need to be reconstructed, but other than that..." I wasn't sure if she was listening or not, she just stared at the window, "We want you to stay here for a few days though, there were a few complications after the surgery, okay?"

She stared forward.

"Bella?"

She nodded.

I reached my hand out and touched her shoulder.

"Is everyone here?" Bella asked suddenly, quietly.

"Yes."

"Is…" She winced, "Is Edward here?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

_bella. day 1_

The drive in the car was silent. I stared out the passenger window, and he stared at the road ahead. He was thinking, thinking hard about something. And so it was silent. But that was better for me anyways. I didn't want the words. Didn't want what I knew he would say. And we were halfway to the airport.

He had flown all the way to the nearest city with an airport, and then he had rented a car and driven it all the way up to the tiny little house where I rented the basement. And he didn't need to. He did, because he had things to say. Things that, no doubt, had been eating at him since the day I left.

He delivered to me the news of Charlie's death, and he had lent me his shoulder to cry on, and for a little while, it was back to the way it was before it fell to pieces. And as I got prepared to leave, through a single sentence before we got into the car, the whole atmosphere changed. It was silent, and cold. And I was fearing the words.

Then Jake finally broke the silence, "He doesn't fucking love you." He said, and I cringed internally at the reference to _him_. These were not the words I had been expecting.

"He doesn't even fucking love you. He told you that. He doesn't want you. Yet your pining after him like you think you have some fucking chance in hell. He. Doesn't. Want. You. He doesn't fucking give a damn. He's not coming back. And so you die. Emotionally dead. Then you make me think that we had something. And then you move to fucking Alaska. Alaska!" Jake paused for a moment there, and I opened my mouth to speak, but he wasn't done, " It's probably your fault that Charlie's dead. And still, I can see it in your face. It's been a year. Pick up the fucking hint already!" His voice filled the car, his dark eyes staring at me, and then the road, then me.

The silence, if it had been bearable before, was completely unbearable now.

"Pull over, Jake." He looked at me with his angry eyes, his expression slightly incredulous, "Pull over." I said, trying to keep my voice strong, trying to fight the tears.

"What are you going to do? Walk? We're 45 minutes out of town and it's freezing outside."

"I don't care. Pull over." The tears broke, and my voice cracked.

"No." He stared at the road, straight-faced.

"Dammit Jake! Pull over!" I screamed, throwing the box of Kleenex off the dashboard at him. He stopped it in the air before it hit his head and reluctantly began to slow down, putting his turning signal on, jaw clenched in fury.

"You can't walk to the airport, Bella." I slammed the door shut, and began walking, the tears like ice on my cheeks, the wind blowing in my face. I wrapped my arms around my body, cursing myself for not grabbing my coat. "Bella!" He called after me, getting out of the car as he realized that I would probably walk a fair distance and catch my death before I got back into the car. He caught up to me in just a few of his very large steps. "Bella, I didn't mean it."

"I don't want to hear it, Jake." I said, and walked on.

"Bells…" He sighed. "Bella!" He called again, "Come on."

"No!" I screamed back at him, "Go home, Jake. Go wherever. Just go."

"Bella," Something in his tone caused me to stop then. To turn, and face him across the distance that separated us.

"Jacob Black, what you just said.. I can't even begin.. To fathom.." I sighed, unable to get my thoughts straight, "Of all the things.. I can't take it, Jake. Not from you. Not from anyone. I just can't take it. I thought.. God.. I don't even know what I thought."

"Bells…"

Silence.

"God… who the hell are you to tell me to pick up the hint?" I could feel the hysterics coming as I fought to keep myself together. A giggle escaped, "I mean seriously, Jake. How much did it cost you to come down here? To rent that car? We both know that you don't have the money to spare. So why did you do it? A simple call would work." I could see the tremble in his hands. Jake had gotten better at controlling himself, but I always knew the buttons to push. "But you came down here. Because you can't take a hint! Can't take a fucking hint!" I screamed.

Then everything happened so fast. Too fast to catch it all. And their was pain.

And then there was black.

_bella. day 5, 2:37 _

He was sitting there, in the chair farthest from me. In the back corner. I couldn't read his expression.

I almost didn't believe it when I first opened my eyes. My vision was still blurry from the sleep. I blinked it away, next I new he was next to me. Hands on my face, stroking my hair, running along my jaw.

"You're up."

"Yeah.."

A/N: Um.. yeah.. anybody remember me? It's been nearly a year. I expect some of you have given up. I had given up. But then I got some belated reviews, and I thought, hmm. I forgot about that story. Why? The chapter is half-written (I was done up to the Bella/Jacob scene). _Why?_ I couldn't answer, so I added a couple more lines and now here it is. Tidbits for real reviews, as usual.


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